I Cook My Turkey the Old Fashioned Way - Women's T-Shirt Size:M rendered in white ink with

rendered in white ink with a vintage screen-print texture

Requesting sharks with frickin' laser beams is just basic villain infrastructure

Inspired by Bull Durham

Lowercase white serif text reads "(separately of course)" at the bottom

A dark olive midcentury line art anthropomorphic planet wearing a party hat and Saturn-like ring roller skates in a dynamic pose between "CHICAGO" and "ILLINOIS

I Cook My Turkey the Old Fashioned Way - Women's T-Shirt Size:M rendered in white ink withPerformative helplessness around a turkey is a skill refined over decades, passed down like a family heirloom nobody asked for. Asking "need any help?" once and accepting no is basically a recipe at this point. The Details: Bold black block text reads "I COOK MY TURKEY THE OLD FASHIONED WAY" above and around a vintage hand drawn illustration of a roasted turkey on a platter in reddish brown tones with dark green herb garnishes. Orange text in